Ever fancied a job in the modern news media? Then you'll need to know how best to enhance headline clickthrough when a member of the royal family announces their engagement. Learn from the experts...
The Evening Standard published all of these stories on their website on Monday.
» Meghan Markle and Prince Harry announce their engagement [buckle down, here we go...]
» 7 things you didn't know about Meghan Markle [straight in with an odd-numbered list]
» Meghan Markle's wedding dress: which designer will Prince Harry's fiancée choose? [spoiler - nobody knows]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are engaged! Is this what their royal wedding will be like? [a perfect slice of mindless speculation]
» Meghan Markle's parents wish daughter and Prince Harry 'a lifetime of happiness' [of course they do]
» The best engagement rings to buy this winter [hey up, an excuse to flog jewellery]
» 4 weird royal wedding traditions Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be expected to follow [we researched this on Wikipedia]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engagement: World reacts with joy to royal wedding news [we've cut and pasted some tweets]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to marry in Spring 2018 as royals say they are 'delighted' for US actress to join the family [mishmash summary of previous stories]
» Meghan Markle's new official title after marrying Prince Harry: what the Suits star will be called [more mindless speculation]
» Meghan Markle and Prince Harry engagement: Bookies odds on when the royal wedding will take place and where it will be held [a bit of Googling sorted this]
» Piers Morgan turns on the charm as he begs for invitation to 'friend' Meghan Markle's wedding to Prince Harry [we saw this on Twitter]
» Evening Standard comment: Congratulations to a very Modern Family [top toadying editorial]
» Meghan Markle engagement ring: what style did Prince Harry choose for his new fiancée? [the first of several ring stories]
» Inside Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's London home [there's always a property angle]
» Londoner's Diary: Wedding fever? It's just another dress and hat... [we dashed this off in minutes]
» Will we get a Bank Holiday for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding? [spoiler - we know no more than you]
» The life of Meghan Markle: A closer look at Prince Harry's new fiancée [we prepared this one earlier]
» Prince Harry is engaged: take a look back through his early years [we prepared this one earlier too]
» Meghan Markle royal engagement: The most Prince Harry places for an engagement party in London [we trawled our diary archive for this]
» Jeremy Corbyn 'admires Prince Harry and Hezbollah' in BBC subtitles blunder [other news outlets are also news]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding: what happens next now the engagement announcement's out the way? [spoiler - we're just making this up]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle royal engagement is just the shot in the arm we all need [always assume readers are monarchists]
» Why now's a great time to buy near Harry and Meghan's palace home [always assume readers are very rich]
» Prince Harry's fiancé Meghan Markle earned this small British brand £20,000 overnight [always use Meghan's surname to maximise SEO]
» Meghan Markle's 5 best TV moments [our picture gallery is cobbled together off YouTube]
» Meghan Markle shows off her engagement ring with Prince Harry after couple announce royal wedding is to take place next Spring [finally something new has happened]
» Meghan Markle's engagement ring is a sparkling 3-stone masterpiece designed by Prince Harry [another excuse to flaunt a grainy close-up photo]
» Meghan Markle's London: Where the new royal loves to hang out [our highbrow gossip column has its uses]
» Meghan Markle's bridal-inspired coat crashes Canadian brand's website seconds after engagement announcement with Prince Harry [always upsell the fashion angle]
» BBC News presenter Simon McCoy amuses viewers with typically lacklustre Royal engagement news [finally, a story for republicans to click]
» When will the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engagement interview air on TV? Time, channel and everything else you need to know [not actually "everything else you need to know"]
» No Bank Holiday planned for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding day [dammit, reality crashes the party]
» Prince Harry Meghan Markle engagement: The best places to propose in London [always label any cobbled-together list "The best..."]
» 'She said she was going out for milk': Meghan Markle's on-screen fiancé Patrick J Adams has hilarious response to Royal engagement [not actually hilarious, but make the claim anyway]
» Royals fans and tourists elated by news of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement [all non-ecstatic vox pops were spiked]
» The best engagement gifts fit for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle [another opportunity to plug favoured brands]
» Meghan Markle and Prince Harry reveal he proposed during a 'typical night in' at their cottage at Kensington Palace [the word 'cottage' is used without irony]
» Prince Harry says Meghan Markle and Princess Diana 'would have been thick as thieves' in first engagement interview [first appearance of clickbait magnet Princess Di]
» Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's first TV interview in full after revealing engagement [don't mention the BBC got the exclusive]
» Prince Harry reveals how he designed Meghan Markle's engagement ring with stones from Botswana and Princess Diana's collection [gratuitous second appearance of aforementioned clickbait goddess]
The Evening Standard then published all of these stories on their website on Tuesday.
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding: When, where and who's picking up the bill? [nobody actually knows yet]
» Barack Obama congratulates Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on royal wedding but Donald Trump remains silent [perhaps he's not interested]
» In full: Prince Harry's first interview with fiancée Meghan Markle after the couple announced their engagement [includes annoying auto-start video]
» Barack Obama likely to get invitation to Prince Harry's wedding to Meghan Markle... but Trump 'almost certain to face snub' [rehash of earlier story]
» Meghan Markle's half-sister shares joy over engagement to Prince Harry with moving personal message [entice readers with 'half-sister' teaser]
» EastEnders fans left baffled after show airs scene about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement 9 hours after announcement [this is just several cut and pasted tweets]
» Meghan Markle and Prince Harry royal wedding news live: Latest updates on engagement, interview and big day next Spring [we just keep bashing this stuff out]
» Why Meghan Markle is likely to opt for a low-key, cool designer to create her wedding dress [spoiler - we know nothing]
» Inside Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Botswana: the luxury tented camp where the loved-up pair stay [bet they'll be sold out for years]
» 'Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's wedding day should be Bank Holiday', MPs tell Theresa May [always pretend you're on the side of the proletariat]
» Buy Meghan Markle's engagement ring: 6 affordable three-stone alternatives [QVC run entire hours of this kind of thing]
» Meghan Markle and Prince Harry shown larking around in behind-the-scenes engagement interview footage [more video stills we grabbed off the iPlayer]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle wedding sparks hope of £100m spending bonanza [nobody you know will be gaining]
» Londoner's Diary: Meghan's new role means no time for politics [stating the obvious fills column inches]
» Pregnant Duchess of Cambridge 'thrilled' at brother-in-law Prince Harry's engagement to Meghan Markle [finally, the pregnant princess angle]
» Here's why the Queen might not attend Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding [technically she might be dead by May]
» Let Meghan mania begin — and that means the right 'big day' for this very modern bride [posh froth aimed at the Putney readership]
» 6 things you need to know if you want to date a royal [1) We'll be trawling your entire online history]
» Tom Bradby: For country, royals and Prince Harry, Meghan Markle is the perfect choice [it's bread and circuses, innit?]
» 'Matchmakers' Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid joke they 'set up' Prince Harry and Meghan Markle [note careful use of two sets of inverted commas]
» Meghan Markle's potential bridesmaids: who could grace her royal wedding to Prince Harry? [sigh, a line-up of young female royals]
» Pregnant Kate Middleton steps out in a new stylish ensemble one day after the royal engagement announcement [technically 'Woman wears dress']
» Meghan Markle's engagement ring: how big is it, how much does it cost and who helped Harry design it? [always rehash your most popular content]
» St George's Chapel is venue for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding: Pair will marry in historic Windsor Castle landmark [damn, not a proper abbey]
» Where is St. George's Chapel? The history behind Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding venue [see how SEO-friendly this wording is]
» Meghan Markle leaves one of her two rescue dogs behind in move to UK to marry Prince Harry [our newsroom whooped for joy on learning there was a canine angle]
» Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's first royal engagement to take place in Nottingham on Friday [note cunning double meaning of 'engagement']
» This is why Meghan Markle will need to be baptised before she marries Prince Harry [actually it's empty waffle, but please click anyway]
» Duchess of Cornwall Camilla on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle wedding: America's loss is our gain [every time royalty speaks, we post another story]
» Meghan Markle to give up charitable roles at the UN and World Vision Canada to start her royal life with a 'clean slate' [technically 'Successful woman abandons career', but we'd never write that]
» Theresa May dashes hopes of a royal wedding Bank Holiday despite calls from MPs [oh yes, our editor truly hates her]
Watch and learn, and you too could be ready to report on Prince George's engagement in 30 years time.
